


It's A Mutant!

by emrys (livingshitpost)



Series: The One Where Bucky Is A Dad [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adopted Children, Alters, Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Child Soldiers, Childhood Trauma, Children, Dark Past, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dysfunctional Family, Families of Choice, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Fatherhood, Forced Pregnancy, Gay Parents, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Identity, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kid Fic, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Misgendering, Multiplicity/Plurality, Name Changes, Names, No Sex, Nonbinary Character, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Past Abuse, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Running Away, Self-Acceptance, Self-Destruction, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Sharing a Body, Sorry Not Sorry, Trans Male Character, and as a system myself it's kinda nice to write about, but it's what would have happened in that situation, cassidy'll get better dw, i mean. maybe but prolly not, i was kinda hesitant to make ryan part of a system at first, no actual pregnancy shown, parent doesn't look like a word anymore, past pregnancy, persecutor alters, plans to anyway, protector alters, system terminology, the title is so dumb ahlkdsfhlkasdjf, unintentional misgendering, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:26:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys
Summary: "When they found out . . . what I was—y'know, not-" he sighs. "Not biologically, uh, right." His tongue feels thick and dry in his mouth. "They decided to, um, to take advantage of that. If you know what I'm saying." // "They're probably still out there."It all comes back in time.





	1. Chapter 1

His head is throbbing. The lights are too bright. When he moves to sit up, he finds that not only is he tied down, but his left arm is gone. He sighs and throws his head back onto the pillow, clenching his jaw.

He really fucked it up this time. 

* * *

He can't help but notice the kid on his way out with Sam and Scott. They're rhythmically tapping on their cot. They can't be more than twenty.

"Dude, c'mon," Sam hisses. "Or do you wanna get locked up with us this time?"

Steve holds up his hand briefly. He taps the glass to the kid's cell, and their head snaps up.

There's something in their eyes he can't quite place.

He steps back and smashes the lock on the door open with his shield. 

* * *

He knows this guy, he realizes slowly as he runs behind him.

"Steve," one of the other men whispers. "This way."

 _Steve._ He rolls the name over in his mouth. He recognizes it. He recognizes his suit.

Steve. 

* * *

"You brought a  _kid_ along?"

"Buck, I couldn't just-"

"No, Steve, this is serious. I get that you wanna help people. I do. I've known you since we were kids. But you can't just go breaking out everyone on the Raft."

"She's a  _kid_ , Buck. Look at her."

He tries very hard to focus on the laces of his shoes. They're too big. The long-haired man had stuffed newspapers into the ends to make them fit better, but his feet are still too narrow for them.

 _Just ignore them,_ he tells himself.  _Soon you'll be able to leave and then you can just forget about them._

Bucky sighs and drags a hand down his face. "It's not just that," he says, barely a whisper.

"Then  _what_?"

A moment of quiet.

"Can we talk in private?"

Their footsteps fade, and a door closes behind them.

He takes a deep breath and adjusts the bandages around his chest. He knows what Steve and the Soldier are going to discuss. 

* * *

"Buck, what's going on?"

Bucky pulls his hand through his hair. "D'you remember what I told you a few months back? About . . . About what they did?"

Steve turned his head slightly.

An aggravated groan. He lifts his shirt, pointing to the scar below his navel. "How I got  _this_?"

"Oh." Steve swallows. He looks down. "Uh, yeah."

"Yeah. Well, that  _kid_ looks  _just like_ one of the other Assets. Just, y'know. Smaller. And whiter."

"You're saying-"

"Yeah."

"Buck-"

"I'm not saying we turn her back in, I'm just- . . ." He sighs. "I dunno."

Steve is quiet as Bucky sits on their bed and puts his head in his hands. 

"I never thought I'd see her again," Bucky says quietly.

Steve sits next to his boyfriend. He moves to put a hand on his back, but thinks better of it and rubs the back of his own neck.

"I wanna help her," he says. He chuckles hollowly. "I don't know if I can. I can barely help myself, and just looking at her reminds me of what happened." He puts his hands on his knees and looks up at the ceiling.

"You don't  _have_ to do anything, Buck."

"I know." He sniffles. "But I've always kinda thought about what we might be like as dads, y'know?"

"What?"

"Look, Steve, I'm her . . ." He struggles for a moment and turns to Steve. "Would I be her dad?"

"You're her parent and a man, so, yeah."

"I just mean-"

"Yeah, yeah. I get that."

"I'm still working on that."

"We both are, Buck. So unless you wanna be her mom-"

"No, no way. No."

"Okay."

"So, I'm her dad." He pauses. "That's gonna take some getting used to," he says absently. "But I'm probably the only one who knows what she's been through. And she doesn't even have memories of what life was like before, like I did. All she's ever known is Hydra. I feel like I _need_ to help her."

Steve looks up. Bucky's eyes are brighter than he's seen in a while. He sighs, smiling a bit.

"And I thought  _I_ had a hero complex," he mutters to himself. 

"So you'll help me?"

"Duh." He kisses Bucky's forehead. "Stupid." 


	2. Chapter 2

He looks up when Steve and the Soldier came back into the room. Steve sits at the small table with him while the Soldier makes himself a cup of coffee.

"D'you have a name?"

He nods. "A few," he says. "Quinn. Gwyn. Claire. Cassidy." He pauses. "Asset Thirteen."

"You like any of 'em?"

He shrugs.

"Is there a name you wanna use?"

He shrugs again. "Never really thought about it."

"Well, here's your chance," Bucky says. It's almost encouraging. 

He looks up. "What would you name your son?"

Steve and the Soldier are obviously surprised by the question. They turn to each other, seeming to understand without needing to speak about it.

"I've always liked Oliver," Steve says quietly.

Bucky sits at the table. "Oliver's good, yeah. Or Nicholas." He thinks for a moment. "Maybe Nathan."

"What about Ryan?"

"Yeah, that's a nice one." He takes a sip of his coffee. "There are so many fuckin' names out there," he says, smiling a little. He thinks for a moment. "Edward?"

"Gross."

"What's so bad about Edward?"

"It's just a gross name."

Bucky shrugs. "If you say so."

"Oh, I do."

He laughs at that before turning his direction back toward the kid. "You like any of those?"

"If not, there're still loads out there."

"And you don't have to decide now. Or even stick with it."

He looks down at his shoelaces again. "I . . . I think I like Ryan," he says softly. "I dunno, though."

"That's okay," Steve assures him. "This stuff can be kinda scary at first, but you'll get used to it eventually. Promise."

Ryan almost smiles. "I . . ." He struggles for a moment, looking for a word he doesn't know. "I understand," he says finally. He sighs. "I don't- I don't know . . ."

"It's thank you," Bucky supplies.

Ryan looks up. "Thank you?"

Steve furrows his brow. "Do you not know what that means?"

Ryan shakes his head.

"Oh." He rubs the back of his neck. "It, uh, it just means you're glad someone did something. Or, said something, I guess."

He nods, seeming to understand. "Right." He pauses for a moment. "Thank you."

"Of course," Steve says with a smile. "Happy to help."

"Little  _too_ happy," Bucky mumbles into his coffee. There's a smile on his face.

"Oh, hush, you." Steve ruffles Bucky's long brown hair. "You know you love me."

"Yeah, I do." He takes Steve's hand in his own and kisses his bruised knuckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a lil shorter but !!! i still like it ^,^


	3. Chapter 3

"He's so stupid," she said to herself. Stupid, stupid,  _stupid_. Couldn't he see that he was only going to cause more pain for himself? That he was only making things worse by opening up to these men? They would only hurt him more, and she couldn't allow that. She had to keep him safe. As usual.

She shoved herself to the front while he lay down to sleep. Rubbing her eyes and slapping herself, she ignored the way her body begged for rest, and quietly crept off the couch, looking for anything she might need.

"Ryan?"

Shit.

"What're you doin' up?" Steve rubbed his eye with his forearm. "It's the middle of the night, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she spat. "I don't need you, or any of your help." She tried to shove past him, but he took her shoulders in a firm grip.

"I know it's hard," he said softly. "Buck had the same problem. But you need your sleep, okay?"

"I just said, I don't need help from you." She swatted his hands away. "Be out of your hair by morning."

"What? Ryan-"

"My name is Cassidy, dipshit."

Steve blinked in surprise. "Okay, but-"

"Just get outta my way."

"Cassidy, listen to me." He took her wrist. "I know this is hard, and you just wanna push everyone away, but it's not going to help you. Ever."

She tore her wrist away from him. "It's not your job to take care of us. It's _mine_."

"Us?"

"Forget it." She turned around, heading for the exit. "This way, we don't owe you anything. Ryan'll come to thank me."

"Cassidy," Steve said quietly, "please."

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Because Ryan needs this, whether you want to admit it or not." He placed his hand on her shoulder more gently this time. "You _both_ do."

She struggled as she felt him pushing his way back to the front. 

_No, we don't—_

"Yeah," he said, turning around. "You're right—"

_No! We don't need his help, you moron!_

"I can't keep doing this."

 _Then_ I'll _do it! They're only gonna hurt you, just like everyone else._

"I don't wanna keep fighting. I know I'm not alone, I never am. But I'm so fucking tired." He hung his head. He didn't even have the energy to tense up when Steve wrapped his arms around him.

_You're just gonna get yourself hurt, Ryan._

"I don't wanna go back out there."

"I know, kid, I know." He held him at arms length and tilted his chin up. "But you don't have to anymore, okay? You can stay with us if that's what you want."

He looked down at the floor as his nose started to itch, then reached up and wrapped his arm around Steve's neck.

"Thanks."

She had to admit that the hug didn't feel bad.


End file.
